Author Topic: Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working  (Read 89482 times)

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MuscleVette

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« on: August 24, 2008, 05:08:20 PM »
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MuscleVette

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2008, 07:28:47 PM »
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said,
" Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on."
She told him
"You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7;  you're on 6."
 
He thanked her and continued playing golf.  Later he got lost again. He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.
" I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please tell me what hole I'm on."
Lady  : You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13. Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.
 
 
When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out.
She accepted.
 
As they were drinking and talking he asked her what she did for a living.
"I'm in sales."
He replied,
"no kidding so am I.  What do you sell?" Lady
 
 
It's too embarrassing to tell. But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not to laugh. He promised.
 
Lady  :  I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins).
 
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
 
 
Lady  :  You promised you wouldn't laugh.
 
He replied, " I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it.
I sell toilet paper ......... I'm still one hole behind  you."
;x;x;x See Ya Garry ;11
 
 

 

           

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cpu

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2008, 07:38:32 PM »

Ausfbodyman

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2008, 08:14:10 PM »
mmm... toilet humour.... I love it.. ;12

MuscleVette

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2008, 05:54:55 PM »
You may want to go straight to the photos but the story is a cracker.
 
 
 
 
 
The brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime. Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups, prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi.

The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area. Then they took all four engines to take-off power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is.

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the <b>****</b>pit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take-off but it had not been configured properly (flaps/slats,etc.)

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air. The computers automatically released all  the brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward. The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the $200 million brand-new aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown, for there has been a news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere. Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to Moslem Arabs. Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Airbus $200 million aircraft meets retaining wall and the wall wins....

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Williams

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2008, 07:48:22 PM »
After reading that story...a line from the movie Forrest Gump springs to mind..."Stupid is as stupid does" ;w

twodogs

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2008, 09:02:40 PM »
;w  LOOKS THE SAME AS ALL TAXIS IN LAKEMBA ;w  HA HA  
                      ;M    HA AH     ;M
                                                            ;11 PHIL PHIL

twodogs

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2008, 09:05:47 PM »
;12 NO DONT HIT THE NOS BUTTON YOU STUPID CAMEL JOCKEY,  AAAAAHHHHHH    BUGGGGGGA MMMMMEEEEE THEEEEE WAAALLLLLLL.;x
                                                      ;11 PHIL ;11

twodogs

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2008, 09:08:48 PM »
;y   THANK YOU KIND INSTRUCTOR SIR , SEE YOU NEXT WEEK...........    ;y
                                           HEEEE HEEEE
                                                                         ;11 PHIL ;11

cpu

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Ronnie Barker with my Blackberry is not working
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2008, 01:16:33 PM »
Musclevette asked if we could put all these together into one thread.

Post your funnies here.  Keep them relatively clean.

 

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